Sunday, July 20, 2008

Strange New World

Because I am still in awe that this is now my life, all I can do is share. And because words escape me, all I can do is take photos:



The neighbors.



The backyard at sunset.



The entertainment.




The future.




Okay, here's something I wasn't too thrilled about. (I guess the universe has to even itself out somehow)

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Our Mountain Has a New Address

I have no picture to post. My camera is still tucked away in bubble wrap and lost in the mounds of boxes still awaiting their turn to be emptied. I'm not even sure what to say, really, because everything has been so surreal, so exhausting--and anything I think to write about sounds so self-indulgent I'm afraid you all would sprain your eyeballs rolling them at me.

All I can say is...I'm here and no, I haven't been eaten by an alligator or mauled by a shark. I'm alive and...well--come to think of it--that's exactly what I would say:

I'm alive.

The first morning I walked outside and squinted at how bright my world had become, I felt like I had just stepped out of hibernation. I have had no desire to record this past week with either photos or words, even though my view of the world right now is breathtaking, I just want to soak in the moments. I want to live them.

I'm sure I will settle back into writing soon, I always do. But for now, I will be out exploring my new community, enjoying the thing I can only describe as...

an awakening.

(Hope you all are well...and writing!)

Monday, June 09, 2008

New Directions


Once upon a time there was a girl who dreamed of plopping herself down in the sand to gaze out at the ocean for hours as she wrote the great American novel. That girl has grown up, but her dream is materializing out of warm, tropical air.

(Well, it may not be the "great American novel" but it will be a new novel that hopefully a few people will get to read.)

Times have changed since my first vision of how I'd like my life to play out. I'll probably be using my laptop instead of the more romantic pen and notepad. "Hours" may be pushing it, and--being more aware of sun damage now that I'm wiser (older)--I will probably be sitting under an umbrella instead of basking in the sun. But, I will still be reminding myself to be grateful every day that I get to experience this particular version of my personal nirvana.

So, since making this decision to move camp, lots of things have happened and must happen still. We have sold a house, bought a house, watched my daughter graduate and prepared (as prepared as one can be) to send her off to college, and tried to keep life as normal as possible for the twins in between.

It feels a lot like moving a mountain...only there is some help from inertia. We loosened the first few stones and as they came tumbling down, they loosened rocks, which loosened boulders and now we have to unbury ourselves, pack up the whole lot of rocks and rebuild the mountain eleven hours away.

Needless to say, I will be absent from blogging until I get resettled. Unless I have some really good news from the agent front to share, then I will do so briefly between stuffing/unstuffing boxes. We all need hope, right?

This blog may look different when I return. I would like to gear it more toward the things I write about in my novels. Maybe something like science updates that affect our daily lives, or specifically mother's lives. I'm not quite sure yet. I'll be mulling that over.

Any suggestions are welcomed!

(I will try to keep from feeling so disconnected and visit your blogs as I can. Thanks for reading!)

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Treasure Hunting


Last week, life took me treasure hunting. Here's what I found:


--My friend serendipity in the form of a buyer for our house, the day before we left to look for a house in Florida.



--The true definition of courage--being terrified beyond reason and doing it anyway. I've written before about my fear of flying. I've contemplated classes and drugs. I used neither. I was still terrified and said each time we landed at layovers I won't get back on another plane. It took a lot of gathering myself up, holding myself together and letting myself go..alot of not thinking, thinking about something else and breathing through the thoughts that slipped through. I'm not convinced I'll ever get back on another plane...but then again, I know I will.




--Soul gold in the form of an eighty-something year old man named Noel, a retired NY photographer who lives his passion by strolling along the beach every evening photographing families together with their own camera...I think this is the first picture on the beach we've all been in together. I watched this man leave us and move on to the next family and my heart truly had wings.



--Time with a family that has held a special place in my life for the past twenty years. And as timing would have it, I got to be there to celebrate my crazy, sweet, gorgeous friend Lisa's birthday with her. I am truly being reminded lately of the importance of friends, both new and old.



This was a trip about finding not just a house, but a home. And as we sat outside at a little restaurant along the sliver of beach town ten minutes from (knock on wood) our new house, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the treasure that I had found. A place that turned to liquid gold at night, a place whos breeze played with my hair and heart, a place that made me sigh with pleasure...a place that whispered with salty breath in my ear...

welcome home.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Going Home


It's amazing how far you have to travel sometimes to find yourself back home.

This particular journey began a bit bumpy as we moved through the dark, rainy roads winding their way toward our destination. The clouds were low and packed the night sky, threatening to swallow the distant mountains like a giant anaconda. (Okay, this could have been my overactive imagination, since I really get anxious driving through anywhere that blocks my view of an open sky.) I'll just say here that we didn't drive back home this way.

When we arrived in Pennsylvania, ahem...the next day (don't ask), and drove through the quaint industrial town looking for our hotel, I felt my world expand like a balloon and move full circle back into the cozy warm arms of my childhood. The layout of the streets, the bread shops, the barber shops, the eclectic blend of people and places both shiny and old--I fell back into that place in spirit that can only be described as home.

I experienced this again, when we were welcomed with warmth and smiles at Shawn's house. As you all know, Shawn has become one of my dearest friends, and she is the reason I said yes to this conference. Immediately (while our four 2-year olds got to know each other with the screaming-and-running-through-the-house ceremony) I felt like we'd known Shawn and her hubby for years and fell into that sacred space of sharing stories, laughing and chatting with a fervor only two gals who've been locked up with twin toddlers for two years can do. Just kidding. (sort of) It really did feel like we were visiting old friends. This was the second time the word "home" surfaced in my mind. Home. Familiar. Loving. Safe. These are the things at the heart of Shawn's family and it was an honor to be welcomed into their space.



On Saturday, Shawn and I walked into the Pennwriters Conference with both nerves and excitement. We had no idea what to expect. As serendipity would have it, we had our agent pitch appointments at exactly the same time in exactly the same room. That really made entering that room a whole lot less intimidating for me, although I still had to mostly read my pitch as my nerves got the best of me. (At least I didn't throw up on her shoes). The good news is we both walked out of there with requests from the agents to send them sample chapters. So, it was well worth dealing with a few (million) butterflies.

Also, well worth the trip was the experience of the conference itself. It truly was like stepping into a three dimensional, technicolor version of a writer's life. You know how we are forced to be solitary creatures by the nature of our craft? (I know, we like it, but that's beside the point) The thing is--going to a conference is like all those things--those things that you read about, research, and try to figure out about being a writer--suddenly coming to life around you. All the terms you've had burned into your brain while trying to figure out this business are actually used by real life people making their living in the writing world. It's real. I think that's the biggest thing I got out of the conference. A solid picture of where I'm trying to go. I highly recommend attending one, although I'm not sure I would recommend a one on one pitch session. It's awkward, nerve-racking and I don't think it shows you at your best--unless you are a robot. It may be better to try and talk to an agent in a more relaxed setting. Like at the bar...when you (or they or both) have had a few cocktails. Just kidding. (Not really)

Anyway, this feeling of being immersed in a world that I have only experienced through a computer screen, the feeling of camaraderie with hundreds of other writers trying to be who they are and what they love--this was the same feeling that threaded its way through the whole weekend.

The feeling of being home.

Of course, we had to have some unabashed fun our last day. Which everyone knows has to include sharks and large quantities of cheesecake. I'll leave you with some images and hopefully some smiles!




Tuesday, May 13, 2008

My Wrinkle in Time



You know the lyrics:

"Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true"

My dream of becoming a writer was born in the sticky, evening hours of a Pennsylvania summer. Well, okay I can't remember the exact season, or day or hour, but I have a vivid picture of lying in my bed as a child one summer night, the crickets serenading me through an open window, reading Madeleine L'Engle's A WRINKLE IN TIME and swooning with that high that only comes from discovering the love of your life.

Words. Stories. Make-believe.

Immediately, she inspired me to create my own world, my own story involving some war between black and white winged and horned creatures that I truly can't remember now, I can only remember the complete sense of euphoria at creating their world, their conflicts and their victories. The kind of joy that tastes like lemon and sugar, the kind of joy that blows everything away like a category five hurricane and leaves only your soul standing there pulsating in exact resonance with the universe.

No, I'm not exaggerating.

Tomorrow, I will be making the long trek back to Pennsylvania to take a more serious step toward fulfilling the dream I dare to dream.

My life somehow is tied to this small strip of land on the planet. My birth, my first kiss, my first best friend, my first speeding ticket twenty-some years after moving away (while just driving through)...and now my first writer's conference and face to face meeting with a dream agent.

I think this state is stalking me.

This also marks the first time I said yes to a friend, an invitation and a chance to take my dream seriously all in one shot. I'll be back next week with juicy details. Unless, of course, I do something completely damaging like throw up on the agent's shoes, which would not be completely unlike me. Then, I will just quietly slither back into blogland and you all will have to pretend like I never posted this.

Let the rainbow lead the way.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Sharing the Love




Sometimes words are enough.

*This message brought to you by two toddlers, some paint and sticky fingers...and of course, the guiding hand of a patient dad.